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Wednesday 16 March 2016

Autumn, writing

In reading we have been learning to make our writing fantastic and more interesting. To do this we have been re-crafting our writing. We used a describe map which helps us plan our ideas in more detail. Our topic was Autumn. Each time we used better adjective, and similes. These are highlighted so we can see our writing get better. I have highlighted my favourite sentence in green.
Adjectives
Similes
My favourite sentence
My favourite writing is like this.
Attempt:1
Autumn is a season. In autumn leaves start to die because it gets colder each day. When the leaves die its mean it is colder because it starts to rain more but in spring they grow back. In autumn the days get shorter and the nights get longer because the sun rise goes away. Lost of fog come from the sky because it's gets too cold. The grass gets very cold because it's get way too cold. The rivers get colder because the water on the other side is frozen and it is very cold.
Attempt:2
Autumn is a colorful season. In autumn the bright eaves start to die because its gets icy each day. When the bright leaves die its mean it is getting icy because it starts to sipt more but in lovely spring they grow back. In autumn the days get smaller and the nights get larger because the yellow sun goes away.Lots of white fog comes down from the blue sky  because it's gets too chilly. The green grass gets very cold like ice because it's get way too chilly. The blue  rivers get very chilly because the cold water on the other side is frozen and it is very very cold.
Attempt:3
Autumn is a bright season. In autumn leaves start to die because it gets very chilly each day. When the bright leaves die it means it is freezing cold because it starts to rain more but in lovely spring they grow back. In autumn the days very small and at night time it is a very long time because the bright yellow sun disappears. Lost of lovely white fog comes down from the beautiful sky because it gets way too cold. The dark green grass gets very very cold like frozen ice because it's getting way too cold. The bright blue rivers get very very cold because the chilly water on the other side is frozen and it is very very chilly.
Attempt:4
Autumn is a bright lovely season. In autumn the colourful leaves start to die which is very sad because it get’s very very chilly some days. When the colour leaves die it means it is getting chilly because it starts to rain more but in lovely spring they grow back. In autumn the days get small and the nights get longer because the beautiful yellow sunrise disappears elayer. Lost of  white fog comes down from the beautiful sky because it gets very cold. The dark green grass gets very very chilly because it's getting way too cold. The bright lovely rivers get very very chilly because the cold water on the other side is freezing and it is very very cold.
Attempt:5
Autumn is a bright lovely  season. In autumn the bright leaves start to die which is very sad because it get’s very very chilly some days. When the bright colour leaves die it means it is getting chilly because it starts to rain more but in lovely spring they grow back. In autumn the lovely days get small and the amazing  nights get longer because the bright yellow sun disappears. Lost of lovely  white fog comes down from the beautiful blue sky because it gets very cold. The dark green grass gets very very chilly because it's getting freezing . The bright lovely blue rivers get very very chilly because the cold water on the other side is freezing and it is very very cold.